Lost lambs of Earl Shilton

Once there were two lambs called Bern & Tim who lived on a farm in the beautiful Welsh mountains: every day was a joy to them, they skipped and jumped and bleated their delight in just being alive and living in such lovely surroundings.

Unfortunately for them their joy wouldn’t last very long as there was an Englishman from Earl Shilton who owned a caravan in the vicinity and was always on the lookout to make a bit of money buying and selling; this included prime lambs!

Thus it was that one day this man, we shall call him Bernard, was walking through the fields where Bern and Tim were playing. Although they were unaware of it Bernard had spotted them and decided that he would make the farmer an offer for them that he couldn’t refuse then have them butchered ready for the freezer. That is how the sorry saga of the lost lambs of Earl Shilton came about....

Having removed these two lambs from their idyllic environment in the beautiful mountains of Wales he convinced them he was taking them for a ride in his motorcar when in reality it was to an abattoir to have them killed and made ready for the oven.

This dastardly deed completed Bernard packed the carcasses into his car and started off for home thinking of the cash he would receive from the sale of little Bern and Tim.

Unfortunately when he arrived home and went to put the lambs in his freezer he discovered there was no room for them, so straight away he drove up to his local, the Dog and Gun, and asked the landlord, Baz, if he could keep them in his freezer until a buyer could be found. ‘ Sorry’, said Baz, ‘But I’m all stocked up,’ and indeed there was no room at the inn. However Baz had a plan,’ I know someone who’ll help’ he exclaimed,’ Raymond has two freezers and I do believe that he only keeps blackberries and raspberries in them, I’m sure he’d help’.

‘But I don’t really know him,’ demurred Bernard.
‘Don’t worry I’ll ask him’ answered Baz.

That is how the two little lambs left their home in Wales and went to reside in Mill Lane in Earl Shilton for six months, Bernard had forgotten all about them, you could say that he’d deserted them to carry on with his rambling.

It was sometime later in the year that Baz, Ted and Raymond were talking in the Dog and Gun and the subject of lamb came up, ‘Don’t talk to me about lambs,’ exploded Raymond, ‘ I’ve got two at home that don’t belong to me, I’m sick and tired of Bernard and his rambling, I’m going home and turning them out into the street!’
‘ You wouldn’t do that!’ exclaimed Baz.
‘I’m serious,’ retorted Raymond, ‘Out they go!’ with that he stormed out of the pub pursued by Ann who pleaded with him not to turn the poor lambs out into the street at that time of night, but Raymond was adamant and started off for home.

‘Do you think he’s serious?’ asked Geoff, ‘No’ chorused Baz and Ted but Ann was of a different opinion, ‘ I’m sure he meant it, we had better go and check’.

And so it was that, at 1:30 in the morning Ann, Wendy, Geoff and Ted wended their way to Mill Lane discussing the preceding events. As they approached Raymond’s house they could see that he had indeed turned out those two little lambs, they were huddled together in four plastic bags, close to the garden wall for security.

Now the lamb rescue went into action, the poor creatures were picked up and carried to a safe refuge, not altogether, so that neither that nasty Bernard nor the thoughtless Raymond could mistreat them again.

The last word must go to Wendy, a vegetarian, who said,’ How could anyone take two little lambs from their green field to a distant place, only to leave them in the company of someone who turns them out into the street at night? They were absolutely frozen stiff, if anyone would care to knit them a woolly jumper each I would be most pleased to accept them’.